I
have re-read this a few times and each time, there is something
different I have learned. Spend the next 15 mins of your time to read
it. It may be one of bes
t thing you have read about concerning your life journey.
Below is the transcript of the talk of Dr. Richard Teo, who was a
40-year-old millionaire and cosmetic surgeon with a stage-4 lung cancer
but selflessly shared with the D1 class his life experience on
19-Jan-2012. He passed away few days later on 18 October 2012.
Hi
good morning to all of you. My voice is a bit hoarse, so please bear
with me. I thought I'll just introduce myself. My name is Richard, I'm a
medical doctor. And I thought I'll just share some thoughts of my life.
It's my pleasure to be invited by prof. Hopefully, it can get you
thinking about how... as you pursue this.. embarking on your training to
become dental surgeons, to think about other things as well.
Since young, I am a typical product of today's society. Relatively
successful product that society requires.. From young, I came from a
below average family. I was told by the media... and people around me
that happiness is about success. And that success is about being
wealthy. With this mind-set, I've always be extremely competitive, since
I was young.
Not only do I need to go to the top school, I need
to have success in all fields. Uniform groups, track, everything. I
needed to get trophies, needed to be successful, I needed to have
colours award, national colours award, everything. So I was highly
competitive since young. I went on to medical school, graduated as a
doctor. Some of you may know that within the medical faculty,
ophthalmology is one of the most highly sought after specialities. So I
went after that as well. I was given a traineeship in ophthalmology, I
was also given a research scholarship by NUS to develop lasers to treat
the eye.
So in the process, I was given 2 patents, one for the
medical devices, and another for the lasers. And you know what, all this
academic achievements did not bring me any wealth. So once I completed
my bond with MOH, I decided that this is taking too long, the training
in eye surgery is just taking too long. And there's lots of money to be
made in the private sector. If you're aware, in the last few years,
there is this rise in aesthetic medicine. Tons of money to be made
there. So I decided, well, enough of staying in institution, it's time
to leave. So I quit my training halfway and I went on to set up my
aesthetic clinic... in town, together with a day surgery centre.
You know the irony is that people do not make heroes out average GP
(general practitioner), family physicians. They don't. They make heroes
out of people who are rich and famous. People who are not happy to pay
$20 to see a GP, the same person have no qualms paying ten thousand
dollars for a liposuction, 15 thousand dollars for a breast
augmentation, and so on and so forth. So it's a no brainer isn't? Why do
you want to be a gp? Become an aesthetic physician. So instead of
healing the sick and ill, I decided that I'll become a glorified
beautician. So, business was good, very good. It started off with
waiting of one week, then became 3weeks, then one month, then 2 months,
then 3 months. I was overwhelmed; there were just too many patients.
Vanities are fantastic business. I employed one doctor, the second
doctor, the 3rd doctor, the 4th doctor. And within the 1st year, we're
already raking in millions. Just the 1st year. But never is enough
because I was so obsessed with it. I started to expand into Indonesia to
get all the rich Indonesian tai-tais who wouldn't blink an eye to have a
procedure done. So life was really good.
So what do I do with
the spare cash. How do I spend my weekends? Typically, I'll have car
club gatherings. I take out my track car, with spare cash I got myself a
track car. We have car club gatherings. We'll go up to Sepang in
Malaysia. We'll go for car racing. And it was my life. With other spare
cash, what do i do? I get myself a Ferrari. At that time, the 458 wasn't
out, it's just a spider convertible, 430. This is a friend of mine, a
schoolmate who is a forex trader, a banker. So he got a red one, he was
wanting all along a red one, I was getting the silver one.
So
what do I do after getting a car? It's time to buy a house, to build our
own bungalows. So we go around looking for a land to build our own
bungalows, we went around hunting. So how do i live my life? Well, we
all think we have to mix around with the rich and famous. This is one of
the Miss Universe. So we hang around with the beautiful, rich and
famous. This by the way is an internet founder. So this is how we spend
our lives, with dining and all the restaurants and Michelin Chefs you
know.
So I reach a point in life that I got everything for my
life. I was at the pinnacle of my career and all. That's me one year ago
in the gym and I thought I was like, having everything under control
and reaching the pinnacle.
Well, I was wrong. I didn't have
everything under control. About last year March, I started to develop
backache in the middle of nowhere. I thought maybe it was all the heavy
squats I was doing. So I went to SGH, saw my classmate to do an MRI, to
make sure it's not a slipped disc or anything. And that evening, he
called me up and said that we found bone marrow replacement in your
spine. I said, sorry what does that mean? I mean I know what it means,
but I couldn't accept that. I was like “Are you serious?” I was still
running around going to the gym you know. But we had more scans the next
day, PET scans - positrons emission scans, they found that actually I
have stage 4 terminal lung cancer. I was like "Whoa where did that come
from?” It has already spread to the brain, the spine, the liver and the
adrenals. And you know one moment I was there, totally thinking that I
have everything under control, thinking that I've reached the pinnacle
of my life. But the next moment, I have just lost it.
This is a
CT scan of the lungs itself. If you look at it, every single dot there
is a tumour. We call this miliaries tumour. And in fact, I have tens of
thousands of them in the lungs. So, I was told that even with
chemotherapy, that I'll have about 3-4months at most. Did my life come
crushing on, of course it did, who wouldn't? I went into depression, of
course, severe depression and I thought I had everything.
See the
irony is that all these things that I have, the success, the trophies,
my cars, my house and all. I thought that brought me happiness. But i
was feeling really down, having severe depression. Having all these
thoughts of my possessions, they brought me no joy. The thought of...
You know, I can hug my Ferrari to sleep, no... No, it is not going to
happen. It brought not a single comfort during my last ten months. And I
thought they were, but they were not true happiness. But it wasn't.
What really brought me joy in the last ten months was interaction with
people, my loved ones, friends, people who genuinely care about me, they
laugh and cry with me, and they are able to identify the pain and
suffering I was going through. That brought joy to me, happiness. None
of the things I have, all the possessions, and I thought those were
supposed to bring me happiness. But it didn't, because if it did, I
would have felt happy think about it, when I was feeling most down..
You know the classical Chinese New Year that is coming up. In the past,
what do I do? Well, I will usually drive my flashy car to do my rounds,
visit my relatives, to show it off to my friends. And I thought that
was joy, you know. I thought that was really joy. But do you really
think that my relatives and friends, whom some of them have difficulty
trying to make ends meet, that will truly share the joy with me? Seeing
me driving my flashy car and showing off to them? No, no way. They won’t
be sharing joy with me. They were having problems trying to make ends
meet, taking public transport. In fact i think, what I have done is more
like you know, making them envious, jealous of all I have. In fact,
sometimes even hatred.
Those are what we call objects of envy. I
have them, I show them off to them and I feel it can fill my own pride
and ego. That didn't bring any joy to these people, to my friends and
relatives, and I thought they were real joy.
Well, let me just
share another story with you. You know when I was about your age, I
stayed in king Edward VII hall. I had this friend whom I thought was
strange. Her name is Jennifer, we're still good friends. And as I walk
along the path, she would, if she sees a snail, she would actually pick
up the snail and put it along the grass patch. I was like why do you
need to do that? Why dirty your hands? It’s just a snail. The truth is
she could feel for the snail. The thought of being crushed to death is
real to her, but to me it's just a snail. If you can't get out of the
pathway of humans then you deserve to be crushed, it’s part of evolution
isn't it? What an irony isn't it?
There I was being trained as a
doctor, to be compassionate, to be able to empathise; but I couldn't.
As a house officer, I graduated from medical school, posted to the
oncology department at NUH. And, every day, every other day I witness
death in the cancer department. When I see how they suffered, I see all
the pain they went through. I see all the morphine they have to press
every few minutes just to relieve their pain. I see them struggling with
their oxygen breathing their last breath and all. But it was just a
job. When I went to clinic every day, to the wards every day, take
blood, give the medication but was the patient real to me? They weren't
real to me. It was just a job, I do it, I get out of the ward, I can't
wait to get home, I do my own stuff.
Was the pain, was the
suffering the patients went through real? No. Of course I know all the
medical terms to describe how they feel, all the suffering they went
through. But in truth, I did not know how they feel, not until I became a
patient. It is until now; I truly understand how they feel. And, if you
ask me, would I have been a very different doctor if I were to re-live
my life now, I can tell you yes I will. Because I truly understand how
the patients feel now. And sometimes, you have to learn it the hard way.
Even as you start just your first year, and you embark this journey to
become dental surgeons, let me just challenge you on two fronts.
Inevitably, all of you here will start to go into private practice. You
will start to accumulate wealth. I can guarantee you. Just doing an
implant can bring you thousands of dollars, it's fantastic money. And
actually there is nothing wrong with being successful, with being rich
or wealthy, absolutely nothing wrong. The only trouble is that a lot of
us like myself couldn't handle it.
Why do I say that? Because
when I start to accumulate, the more I have, the more I want. The more I
wanted, the more obsessed I became. Like what I showed you earlier on,
all I can was basically to get more possessions, to reach the pinnacle
of what society did to us, of what society wants us to be. I became so
obsessed that nothing else really mattered to me. Patients were just a
source of income, and I tried to squeeze every single cent out of these
patients.
A lot of times we forget, whom we are supposed to be
serving. We become so lost that we serve nobody else but just ourselves.
That was what happened to me. Whether it is in the medical, the dental
fraternity, I can tell you, right now in the private practice, sometimes
we just advise patients on treatment that is not indicated. Grey areas.
And even though it is not necessary, we kind of advocate it. Even at
this point, I know who are my friends and who genuinely cared for me and
who are the ones who try to make money out of me by selling me "hope".
We kind of lose our moral compass along the way. Because we just want to
make money.
Worse, I can tell you, over the last few years, we
bad mouth our fellow colleagues, our fellow competitors in the industry.
We have no qualms about it. So if we can put them down to give
ourselves an advantage, we do it. And that's what happening right now,
medical, dental everywhere. My challenge to you is not to lose that
moral compass. I learnt it the hard way, I hope you don't ever have to
do it.
Secondly, a lot of us will start to get numb to our
patients as we start to practise. Whether is it government hospitals,
private practice, I can tell you when I was in the hospital, with stacks
of patient folders, I can't wait to get rid of those folders as soon as
possible; I can't wait to get patients out of my consultation room as
soon as possible because there is just so many, and that's a reality.
Because it becomes a job, a very routine job. And this is just part of
it. Do I truly know how the patient feels back then? No, I don't. The
fears and anxiety and all, do I truly understand what they are going
through? I don't, not until when this happens to me and I think that is
one of the biggest flaws in our system.
We’re being trained to be
healthcare providers, professional, and all and yet we don't know how
exactly they feel. I'm not asking you to get involved emotionally, I
don't think that is professional but do we actually make a real effort
to understand their pain and all? Most of us won’t, alright, I can
assure you. So don't lose it, my challenge to you is to always be able
to put yourself in your patient's shoes.
Because the pain, the
anxiety, the fear are very real even though it's not real to you, it's
real to them. So don't lose it and you know, right now I'm in the midst
of my 5th cycle of my chemotherapy. I can tell you it’s a terrible
feeling. Chemotherapy is one of those things that you don't wish even
your enemies to go through because it's just suffering, lousy feeling,
throwing out, you don't even know if you can retain your meals or not.
Terrible feeling! And even with whatever little energy now I have, I try
to reach out to other cancer patients because I truly understand what
pain and suffering is like. But it's kind of little too late and too
little.
You guys have a bright future ahead of you with all the
resource and energy, so I’m going to challenge you to go beyond your
immediate patients. To understand that there are people out there who
are truly in pain, truly in hardship. Don’t get the idea that only poor
people suffer. It is not true. A lot of these poor people do not have
much in the first place, they are easily contented. for all you know
they are happier than you and me but there are out there, people who are
suffering mentally, physically, hardship, emotionally, financially and
so on and so forth, and they are real. We choose to ignore them or we
just don't want to know that they exist.
So do think about it
alright, even as you go on to become professionals and dental surgeons
and all. That you can reach out to these people who are in need.
Whatever you do can make a large difference to them. I'm now at the
receiving end so I know how it feels, someone who genuinely care for
you, encourage and all. It makes a lot of difference to me. That’s what
happens after treatment. I had a treatment recently, but I’ll leave this
for another day. A lot of things happened along the way, that's why I
am still able to talk to you today.
I'll just end of with this
quote here, it's from this book called Tuesdays with Morris, and some of
you may have read it. Everyone knows that they are going to die; every
one of us knows that. The truth is, none of us believe it because if we
did, we will do things differently. When I faced death, when I had to, I
stripped myself off all stuff totally and I focused only on what is
essential. The irony is that a lot of times, only when we learn how to
die then we learn how to live. I know it sounds very morbid for this
morning but it's the truth, this is what I’m going through.
Don’t
let society tell you how to live. Don’t let the media tell you what
you're supposed to do. Those things happened to me. And I led this life
thinking that these are going to bring me happiness. I hope that you
will think about it and decide for yourself how you want to live your
own life. Not according to what other people tell you to do, and you
have to decide whether you want to serve yourself, whether you are going
to make a difference in somebody else's life. Because true happiness
doesn't come from serving yourself. I thought it was but it didn't turn
out that way.
Also most importantly, I think true joy comes from
knowing God. Not knowing about God – I mean, you can read the bible and
know about God – but knowing God personally; getting a relationship with
God. I think that’s the most important. That’s what I’ve learnt.
So if I were to sum it up, I’d say that the earlier we sort out the
priorities in our lives, the better it is. Don’t be like me – I had no
other way. I had to learn it through the hard way. I had to come back to
God to thank Him for this opportunity because I’ve had 3 major
accidents in my past – car accidents. You know, these sports car
accidents – I was always speeding , but somehow I always came out alive,
even with the car almost being overturned. And I wouldn’t have had a
chance. Who knows, I don’t know where else I’d be going to! Even though I
was baptised it was just a show, but the fact that this has happened,
it gave me a chance to come back to God.
Few things I’d learnt though:
1. Trust in the Lord your God with all your heart – this is so important.
2. Is to love and serve others, not just ourselves.
There is nothing wrong with being rich or wealthy. I think it’s
absolutely alright, cos God has blessed. So many people are blessed with
good wealth, but the trouble is I think a lot of us can’t handle it.
The more we have, the more we want. I’ve gone through it, the deeper the
hole we dig, the more we get sucked into it, so much so that we worship
wealth and lose focus. Instead of worshipping God, we worship wealth.
It’s just a human instinct. It’s just so difficult to get out of it.
We are all professionals, and when we go into private practise, we
start to build up our wealth – inevitably. So my thought are, when you
start to build up wealth and when the opportunity comes, do remember
that all these things don’t belong to us. We don’t really own it nor
have rights to this wealth. It’s actually God’s gift to us. Remember
that it’s more important to further His Kingdom rather than to further
ourselves.
Anyway I think that I’ve gone through it, and I know
that wealth without God is empty. It is more important that you fill up
the wealth, as you build it up subsequently, as professionals and all,
you need to fill it up with the wealth of God.
